:)

A really large bottle of mineral water with the capacity of 1.5l is right next to me now and it would be my dear companion tonight, I guess. These days are much better than those stormy days which have just gone recently. Thank God that I'm quite calm and relieved now despite the fact that my heart and my mind are still not really back to my studying. Academic books are still resting in my bookshelf so peacefully without having been opened even once by their owner (who absolutely is ME). My feet haven't touched the ground yet and my soul just keeps going on its way, trying to find out the land of fantasies and dreams which could all be true but not solely some utopian places that ordinary people would not try to believe in their existence. Why can't/shouldn't be village of wizards and witches with full of incredible magic and miracle truly exist in this world, or anything like that blah blah.

There're so many things I cannot understand, and what makes me the most annoyed is the reason why we, humans, and even all the species of both animals and plants must grow up. Yeah, I must admit that I'm extremely afraid of growing up. I don't want to be an adult, I can't see anything good and interesting and useful once I become a real adult. How could one person know if he/she has been old enough to be called "adult"? :)) "Adult" - the term we use for big-size kids =)) which is also a way we use to play tricks on a lot of younger people. Hmn... I don't know. But I really am afraid of the day when I get older but become less innocent, less sensitive, less sympathetic with other people's hurt and pain, or even cold and frigid. I don't want that to happen. Adults always tend to act, to treat people that way and it's such a shame for the creature which always is proud of its superior in every aspect of the natural evolutionary process. Being superior for what? For more and more loss in life which ought to be full of happiness for every moment we still could breathe and have the desire to do something precious for our own lives. Life is what we should enjoy anytime we want and we could. Why do adults always have to force themselves to be so hard and so strict with some unreasonable rules to stick their lives with only stresses and one day when they realize that they're no longer young they start to feel regretful for every exciting moment they should have had when they were younger but never have a chance to have them even once in a life time. Being a human is difficult and being an adult is much more complicated because noone has the ability to know exactly what "adult" really is to make a list of conditions for us to base on to categorize which big-size kids are old enough to be called "adult".


It's quite too much for a night, I suppose. I'm not tired yet but my emotion is so strong that my thought and my hands cannot keep pace with the words rapidly keeps appearing in my head :|. Now I'm wondering if all the animes and movies I've been watching until now have any influence on me and most of my points of view. I think perhaps they've issued me a lot of various clues and life experience so my life until now is so full of thought of life. And in addictional, I'm not only curious but also so easily attracted to any interesting moment and movement of lives around me including both happiness, cheer and sorrow. I do care about life and I just can't let myself become frigid which is so often to adults. So I don't to keep growing up. :)) It seems to be weird but I do have a reason for my choice of life :).

Now I truly want to watch "5cm/s". I'm listening to the ending song of that anime which is so sad and meaningful that I cannot help myself thinking about the content of the meaning of 5cm/s - the speed of a cherry blossom falling down from its branch and then touch the ground. It always is 5cm/s and as harmonious and regular as speed of time :)... and as how fast life keeps going on. They might never have any chance to gather again but they still live their own lives which are full of sweet memories of the time they were together watching the cherry blossoms blooming beautifully in Spring :)... and the Summer when they made a promise of a reunion but it could never happen. I love that ending because "life is not like in the movies. life is much harder", and life seldom satisfies our desires and wishes :). What we need to do finally is moving on with all best things in memories!

I love the movies so much! I love music so much! And I love the fantasies so much! :) Not real but the only thing that really exist on Earth :).


I tend to use English these days to express my feelings and that is not usual at all. I still prefer to use my native language, Vietnamese, to write and to talk with other people but why do I have to force myself to act the same way as always? I have no reason. So it's not bad to use English in writing. :)

Quite enough for tonight. Another staying up late at night and it could lead to another complaint from my Dad/Mom/both of them :D. It's ok! It's ok to be able to write again almost everyday inspite of how much time you have to spend on useless economy classes which are more and more boring. I only like the time when I'm on the buses which gives me chances to move and to look at a lot of lives around me, and to silently watch the movements of real lives :).

Love it! I love the wind because it always moves as it has to, and all the winds are invisible :). Silently move and all would be real to you! :) So you would never have to ask yourself whether you really exist and live or not. It's the way of a nomad :).