for the return of November :)

   It's after midnight, which means the date of November 1st 2009 has just come for nearly an hour. Another November's been back :). On this day last year, I wrote my first entry on this livejournal, and for the first time, I used English. And a year later since that day, most of my entries (88 ones including this) are written in Vietnamese, my mother tongue, not English. I've just started using English more common in some recent entries which has been from September :D. I must admit that I can't remember exactly the reason why I wrote my first LJ entry in English, I think it was just due to some random inspiration or even maybe the thought of practicing my English writing skill, huh :-/. Oh Gosh, I totally forgot. But whatever, that means I didn't consider LJ a place I use for my true own feelings, confidence and thought of anything precious and important to my life :) as it's become now.

   Before starting to use LJ, I got another blog on Yahoo! 360, but that place was so common and the more I used it, I became more and more careful and hesitant when I wrote sth. I was afraid that the community were so attracted by the possibility of becoming famous. My 360 blog someday got bad and rude comments by someone I even don't know, and then everything became a bin for all the advertising and promoting activity. And finally I decided that I would need another place which is completely different from 360. I first tried wordpress and blogspot and my opera, they are good but somehow I don't like them. And as a coincidence, I got some info 'bout this LJ and I tried for once more. And I got what I really want, a private place with only some close friends know 'bout it :), but I thought I've just been all alone in this place for nearly this whole one year which has just gone by :). Anyway, alone is good. I'm so used to being alone most of the time of my life since I was just a little girl at the age of 3 or 4 (parents were busy all the time and they didn't have enough financial ability to hire a nanny so I was left home alone, slept or played with my toys... all alone :). yet things have become much better now). You have the right to write down any thought and emotion which are all precious to you only, and you don't need to care 'bout others' feelings and thought of you. Private and Free! Vive le Liberté! (If I remember it right in Frech :)!)

   Last year, my first entry was all for the welcome of November and its beautiful rains. But today, even though another storm is coming to the my country, it seems like no influence of the storm has reached this city. No rains yet! But who knows what would happen in some days? I heard the news of some cultural events to celebrate the good relationship and corporation between Denmark and Vietnam is about to go on next week and I feel so sad because I cannot be in Hanoi on this occation (most of the events are there). Copenhagen is my 2nd favorite city (and Paris has the 1st place of my favorite list) and I'm always enthusiastic whenever I get any info about this city and even the whole country :( in every field of life, especially about the culture, the bicycles and the fresh air. This is the first time I feel so sorry for myself for not being born and grown up in Hanoi :(. But at least, the news of sth good happening between Denmark and Vietnam still could raise me up a little bit. It's for peace and developement, I guess (not so much into political and economic things) and it must be good for both nations.

   So November has returned with some amusing events somewhere around and not very far from me (*sign*). But I will move to another topic 'cause this one is making me more and more upset about my poor opportunity :|.

   Despite how sad I feel about sth I truly want but cannot have, I'm still happy 'cause I could have other things which is also precious to me :). Music, for example. I've got Kevin Kern's newest album, Endless Blue Sky, and it really makes my day. Not only the album title does impress me, but the songs and the melodies also lift me up high in the sky and take me wander above the white clouds in the cool winds as in my own imagination. And the album cover with the image of a dragonfly and bright colors such as yellow and lime green makes me think of summer when the sky is so pure and so innocently blue that I always do look forward to that season every year for the feelings of being able to return to my childhood and being young forever :). It's so lost in daydreams yet deserves to be the wish of anyone in this world :).

   And I also have another image in my mind, in which I'm on the back seat of a bicycle and on the front seat riding it is my beloved guy :). We're all in the beautiful sunshine of summer, on the path of the countryside of which 2 side are tall and huge trees in fresh green. I'm wearing a white dress with a straw hat on the top of my head :), leaning a little bit towards his back and my hands are holding around his waist. (Oh Gosh! I can't believe I could have that kind of imagination. I've never really been so serious about Love before :"> :"> :">. I think I could die immediately of the hot for blushing too much :"> .)


   I know it sounds so silly to have an actual scene like that nowadays but it's just in my imagination and it could be as ideal and beautiful and romantic as I want it all to be :D. These days I have so many weird and mystic but really amazing dreams about anything from adventurous to romantic ones, so I guess some more imagination is not bad for my brain at all =)).

   Let's see. I still wonder about my desire to have a chance to fall through a cloud I got some days ago. Practically, if I want to try that, first I must be up very high in the sky and perhaps this "endless blue sky" is a suitable tool to help me reach that ideal height for the falling :D. Ok, I'm just kidding about all the ideas of using music to have a test which is that serious like "falling through a cloud" ^ ^. But I really like this album, from top to toe. Melodies are nice, the cover is beautiful and imagistic, and the title ... :)

... "Endless Blue Sky",

... it reminds me of the name of a character of one of my favorite books, Skye, the girl with the eyes which are as blue as the sky :). I have another name which I made for myself just right after I read that book, Aurore Skye. "Aurore" is a Frech name for girls which means "Dawn" and can be figuratively understood as "a new beginning"; my Vietnamese name is "Nguyen" which means "the origin, the source and the heart of everything" or "the purest thing of all" and it somehow has the nearly same meanings as "Aurore". And "Skye", as blue as the sky, that's what I like about that name. The beautiful sky could hide some innermost feelings beyond its pure blue.

  
   A girl like me always have more than one face to show off to the whole superficial world around. But whatever is shown, all I keep for myself are my thought of this life I'm living, and I never can stop myself thinking and thinking about everything around me. Love, loss, depression, happiness, success, lies, etc. I keep all in my heart and my memories as long as I still can. I collect all of those and remember them as my collection of experience for a lifetime :). No matter how much disappointing I feel about my fellow-creature, I just go on doing what I'm doing inspite of the complaints other people make about me. I love them. And I think I've done all for not only myself but also for a lot of people whom I have met and will meet in my life :). So I love the stupid things (it might be that way) I've done and will never stop doing as I'm doing :).

   My life belongs to me, right!!! And my wish of love and life is as endless as the blue sky above. I am who I am, as pure and deep as I always am and never refuse to listen to anyone's confidence :). I love the role of a listener in this life, might be forgotten sometimes but certainly intergral.

   And...

... I think I'm not something but just nothing. I'm like a wind, an everlasting and serious wanderer  which is always beside all the ones I love whenever they need the shoulders of a friend. I might not have the love of my life (due to some personal reasons that I'm sure they will of course be obstacles for my relationship with any guys), but I could be a good friend for anyone who desire a precious friendship :). That's what I can do :).

 

Hi, November! How are you doing?
- I'm fine here. And Welcome back :)!
I have so many things to tell you about the whole year I've got.
You know, I'm changing... every moment. I'm a moveable wind. :)